Awesome! Weekend Homework!

WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Whoever invented turnitin.com should be identified, located, and then shot in the temporal lobe.
Maybe I should wiki him.

Ooh tempting.
Especially since I have homework due on a Sunday night.
I don't care how important the assignment is, that is just the most ridiculous thing ever.

Luckily, things have gotten just slightly better from my last post.
I'm just learning to deal with everything--it isn't getting better,
and my circumstances are not going to change,
so there is no point in bitchin' about my situation.

even though that is kinda-sorta (definitely) the entire purpose of this blog.

Well, Monday is my birthday, but I will be lucky if my parents are even back in time to celebrate. Of course, they are out of the country. Greatt timing as usual parental units. I applaud you.

I just want to be with Andrew, I think.
I'm so screwed over this weekend with Chessie/her family, I don't even want to think about it, nonetheless, be confronted by her at school on Monday.
Happy Birthday to me: Former best friend driving that knife deeper into my back.
Yipee Ki Yay.

The only good news is that my parents were never consulted about this weekend. Not that I truly did anything, but it is just easier that they stay verrrry far out of the andrew-portion of my life.

Speaking of, I had a pretty good five hours today when I really did feel content. I got to cuddle on the hammock with a gorgeous boy that I love dearly. And for once, things felt okay in the universe for a couple of hours; despite the fact that my grandmother was being a complete stalker/creeper by FREAKING the fuck out every time i got out of sight.
She is ridiculous.

This whole week I've tried my best to stay out her way. She is just too sheltered by everything, and so "rich old lady-like". I have held back so many sarcastic and generally nasty comments toward her this past week, I've been choking on them in my sleep.

Speaking of, Jesus Christ, I had the weirdest dream last night. I don't remember exactly what the circumstances were, but there was this attic, and my dad, McKenzie, and I were exploring. My dad found this rare like Anastasia necklace, and made me like swear to hide it from McKenzie and protect it with my life. ahahha
And then i was on the couch with my parents, and I take out this giant 80s laptop and start like bragging about how mine works better without all of the technological advances and glitches.

Weiiiiird shit.

Anyway, I promised that I would go shopping with my Grandma on Sunday (tomorrow) at the beginning of the week, just so she would leave me alone.
Now, I realize I am an idiot, because I have to go through with it now!
Damn.

Well, I really wanna finish my lit letter tonight that way I just have math homework tomorrow.
I trudged through over half of Sense and Sensibility and I feel so brain dead.

Meanwhile, I am still worried about Nana. Haven't seen her in forever.
She finally switched back to Crystal Bluffs after a three day hospital stay..
which was after her bloody, heart-wrenching fall last Monday.

I still am so guilty about that no matter what anyone says.
It was completely my fault.
I've tried to get that image out of my head all week--the pools of dark red, almost black blood spilled on the floor, door, and cabinets--her bloodied face, fingernails, and soaked clothes. Luckily, her head wound clotted. If she had been taking blood thinners than she would have bled right out on the bathroom floor. She would have died in pain, all alone, and within 50 ft. of my sleeping body.
On my watch.

I shudder just thinking about it.
I also shudder about my up coming doctor appointments.
AAH! my ovaries and uterus. damn them :/

My parents should be home soon and I'm looking forward to my usual abnormal normalcy.

This post seems really random, and strung together, but just..whatever.
Haven't blogged in a while.

Don't you know my world's falling apart?
Dude, get with it.

(Whatever exactly it is)